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An Imaginary Lorillard Boardroom Meeting
In the next several hours we will publish our review for the Blu Pro Kit. The Blu Pro Kit is sold by Blu eCigs in the UK. URL:
We ask that you make note of the above URL. It doesn’t say www.bluecigs.co.uk, it says blucigs.co.uk. The US company, Blu Cigs is located here: www.blucigs.com.
In order to make the review for the Blu Pro Kit, a product of Blu eCigs UK less confusing, I, Tiberius, decided to explain the differences between Blu Cigs in the US and Blu eCigs in the UK in a different, perhaps even unusual fashion. Lorillard is the parent company of both Blu Cigs and Blu eCigs as of August 5th, 2014. SKYCIGS was purchased by Lorillard in 2013, and Blu eCigs launched in 2014.
This believable, albeit imaginary, conversation in the boardroom of Lorillard tobacco company, would have, we think, taken place just weeks before announcing the acquisition of SKYCIGS. (for $39 million)
Lorillard Man #1: So, what’s the final price tag for picking up SKYCIGS?
Lorillard Man #2: In US Dollars we’re looking at $39 million. Chump change really.
Woman #1: What do we do with it?
Man #2: What do you think? We’re going to make it profitable.
Woman #1: How are we going to do that?
Man #2: We’re going to take our most popular electronic cigarette brand, Blu Cigs, and convert SKYCIGS over to the same name.
Woman #1: You mean we’re going to turn SKYCIGS into Blu Cigs?
Woman #2: Well, not exactly.
Woman #1: What do you mean, not exactly?
CEO: Yes, I’d like to know the answer to that myself.
Man #1: We have an awesome plan! Tell him!
Man #2: Well, We’re going to make people think we turned SKYCIGS into Blu Cigs, but in reality we’re just going to alter the Blu Cigs logo a tiny bit, build a familiar looking website, get some new packaging that looks like Blu Cigs and would make anyone believe they were looking at a Blu Cigs product, but it won’t be. And, we’ll call the company Blu eCigs, with an ‘e’!
Woman #1: Wait. What? You’re going to use basically the same logo as Blu Cigs, and you’re going to stick a small ‘e’ in from of the word ‘Cigs’, and you think that will be enough to hide behind?
Lorillard Man #2: Absolutely! Look, we will create an illusion that will make 99.99% of people will believe that this UK company is really Blu Cigs, but instead of spending the money to use Johnson Creek smoke juice for the cartomizers, like we do in the US, we’re going to use the same shitty ejuice that SKYCIGS used, that crap from China, and we will save a bundle! By adding that one letter, ‘legal’ thinks we will be in the clear.
CEO: So, let me get this straight. We are buying SKYCIGS and we’re going to make just enough changes to that company to make people think we are bringing Blu Cigs to the UK when in reality we are going to be lipstick on a pig and we’re going to call it Blu eCigs?
Man #2: Well, in so many words, yes, and with some infinitesimal changes that will keep us out of any legal hassles.
Lorillard CEO: Like what?
Man #2: For like I said, the company will be called Blu eCigs, not Blu Cigs, right? The logo will look the same as Blu Cigs, but we will remove the word “cigs” from the logo. In addition, all our legal disclosures will say “Blu”, or Blu eCigs, not Blu Cigs, but people will think Blu Cigs, but it won’t be. That way we can sell an ecigarette that looks just like Blu Cigs, that people will think IS Blu Cigs, but we’ll use that cheap-ass eLiquid from China that SKYCIGS has stored in those 55-gal drums. We’ll make a killing.
CEO: Sounds like a plan, but what happens if someone tries to compare the flavors of Blu Cigs and Blu eCigs eliquids? Will they have the same name too?
MAN #2: That’s the best part! We can’t trademark “classic tobacco”, no one can, so there is no legal issue with selling that cheap shit juice from China and calling it Classic Tobacco, the same name as that the expensive Johnson Creek juice we use in the US is called.
We won’t use all the flavors, SKYCIGS never had a Pina Colada for instance, but whatever flavors that are stored in those drums we’ll call them Blu eCigs flavors and they will either have the same name as our Blu Cigs flavors, or we create a new name for flavors that our US Blu Cigs doesn’t have.
CEO: I like it! So, all we have to do is make it look like Blu Cigs, call it Blu eCigs, and sell it to the public. They’ll buy it because they think they are buying the same Blu Cigs products from the US! Brilliant! But wait, you didn’t answer my question.
What will happen if someone from the US, say a vaper that uses Blu Cigs, comes to the UK and buys some cartomizers for his or her batteries and discovers that huge difference in taste, not to mention vapor? Seriously, have you tasted SKYSCIGS?? That’s why we got the company so cheap.
I mean really, our Johnson Creek eliquid is PG-free, SKYCIGS is nearly ALL PG. They taste nothing alike and the smoke (vapor) isn’t nearly as good. What are we going to say?
Man #2: We say nothing. Why would we? Believe me, it’s no big deal. Who’s going to care except about those few people that get the chance to taste Blu Cigs and Blu eCigs?
CEO: Okay, I’m convinced. Let’s do it.
Man #2: Consider it done.
Lorillard Board Meeting Adjourned.
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