Electronic Cigarettes Gets Banned In The United States. What To Do Now?


(A Story from the Multi-Verse)


“Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away” – Buffalo Springfield


This is my story. There are many like it but this is mine.

by Anonymous

Today is August 21st, only a few days before the law that bans ALL forms of electronic cigarettes from the Continent. In fact, eCigarettes are not just banned. These clowns took eCigarettes, eLiquid, and every accessory made for them and made it a continental crime to sell or possess such things. The Continental President believes in this new law so deeply that he even made sure that there is a Mandatory Jail Term of 5 years in a continental prison for having an eCigarette in your home or car. This is life in 2013 my friend. And to really set the stage for what I am about to tell you; the eCigarette didn’t even exist a decade ago. Sometimes the world can change on a dime.

Just like that.

Are You Ready?

I’m sitting in my living room surrounded by cases of batteries, dozens of boxes of ZMAX’s, eVics, Lambo’s, and Bolts. I picked them up for pennies on the dollar because China, seeing as how the jig was up, dumped billions of inventory onto this continent as a punch in the gut to the ‘powers that be’. It almost caused another war with Asia a few months back.

It might still.

In addition to all the electronic cigarettes, I’ve been able to buy up gallons of the best eLiquid in the land as well. Cases and cases from The Plume Room, Mountain Oak Vapors, Ginger’s eJuice, Alice in Vapeland, VapeDudes, and a few others, all of which were in the process not to long ago of building up their own stocks of eLiquids and finishing their massive new “clean rooms” in anticipation that the ‘agency’ was going to be reasonable and get behind the move that would allow tobacco users to switch to the electronic cigarette, Big Tobacco be damned. How could we be so foolish? When did health ever trump profit?

With China dumping everything, and seeing as how the United Kingdom of Glory banned them as well, I was able to buy hundreds of Kanger’s T-3’s and MP-3’s, STV Vivi Nova’s, and 510 and 808 blank cartos for next to nothing. Oh, and this guy, this guy who was feeding his family of six for the last few years with the profits from this ingenious tank called the ‘The Tuff Tank’, let me have 2000 complete Tank setups for twenty bucks and a pack of Winston.

I felt ready.

And I wasn’t alone.

The entire neighborhood had been hoarding these things just as I had done. A few thousand ‘freedom fighters’ around the country (and a few freedom fighters in the UKG) were also doing their fair share of hoarding too. We would all risk everything just to hide this shit away while hoping, like the Prohibition against recreational drug use during the 1970’s, that the corporations would work out a profitable scenario like they had when they realized that by outlawing drug use they were causing Big Pharma to lose billions. So they legalized drug use again.

Just like that.

In the meantime though, we all knew, I’m sure most knew anyway, that the chance of winding up in prison was the more likely scenario. Lots of people are going to prison these days, some being taken in the middle of the night, from the warmth of their own beds, never to be seen again, and never learning why they were taken in the first place. Hell, we didn’t know if these people were still alive or dead.

Probably dead.

I can hear him right now; “Why are you taking such risks?” and “Don’t you know that eCigarettes, as you call them, are poison? That they cause the most incurable form of cancer ever known to man? Surely you must believe this!” Just as clear as day I can hear him asking these questions, over and over.

But the things that he thought were true are actually untrue, and the only reason why he believed them is because Big Corp wanted him to. And because Big Corp wanted him to believe Big Media told him stories every day about fringe science and flat out bad science by Big Tech, and since Big Media does the bidding for the continental government they pounded these things into everybody’s head several times a day until they were sure that what they were hearing was 100% factual. Hey, they almost had ME believing.

Why, I bet if he were still around, if he had survived the last trade war with China some twenty-plus years ago, he would try to convince me that the government ‘line’ is the right line. He always believed in them. I wonder what he would say if he were still here and him and I walked to the corner store up the street and he saw tobacco cigarettes, ‘analogs’ we call them now, all legal still, on the shelves stretching to the ceiling. Would it mean anything to him? Would he finally understand how the game is played? Nah. Not him. He were such a believer. His belief is all he ever needed, and when facts got in the way of that belief it was the continental truth that survived, damn the real truth, only the continental truth matters to people like him. Well, whatever, he’s not here, and never will be, because he believed the continental truth was the end all be all. And now he dead.

Dead as a doornail 

On television these days all you ever see is news reports of police raids as they find more and more eCigarette Stashes just like mine. They “perp walk” the people down the line of citizens as they gather on either side, shouting “POISON POISON POISON” at the top of their lungs. People are spitting on the ‘perps’, some are pushing them, some are throwing punches… it’s like a episode of The Outer Limits, where reality is so fucked up you don’t know if you’ve gone insane and this is all in your head, or if it is actually happening. As close as your neighbor and as far away as you can be, this is really happening. Hell, when you are a part of the crowd watching the perp do the walk, you know it’s real my friend…you know.

I know

Do you remember the ‘incident’ that supposedly sparked the backlash against the electronic cigarette? Do you remember? It was just like what happened to our guns, how the Bangor Massacre was the spark that caused the government to snatch all the guns away, the night that beautiful woman had the right side of her face blown off because she vaped a defective battery and it blew up 2 inches from that incredibly symmetrical face. That was the ‘Bangor Massacre’ for electronic cigarettes. God, she was gorgeous. Still is too, only more so on the inside now, where it’s actually important, you know…Do you remember what she said?

Cynthia, that was her name, Cynthia, still lying in her hospital bed, bandages covering her face after several surgeries to repair her blown away jaw, the rebuilding of the right eye socket, the glass eye sitting on the bedside table yet to be put  inside her eye socket… she could talk, you could understand her and everything, and she was being interviewed by the press. Well, not the ‘press’ really, there hasn’t been a ‘press’ for a couple of hundred years. She was talking to Big Prop, and she was asked why she took such awful risks with such poisonous liquids and such dangerous electronics from China. She was asked if she had ‘learned a lesson here’.


I think, no, I believe, that the reporter was trying to do his part for the continent; he didn’t know what was behind the whole thing, not really. I believe that he thought he was going to score some points with the continental government.

Anyway, her answer was so amazing! Man, I’m telling you, I’ve watched that piece over and over. At least a thousand times. Easily. How that recording made it to the underground is a story all its own. I’ll tell that story someday. If I live.

Remember, this was live man, live! How the hell they ever let that go live is something I’ll never understand, unless someone on the inside was just as outraged as we were… but then it was banned of course. All the recordings were supposed to burn up in a fire.

Just like that.

This is what she said. Listen to me Damnit! This was SO amazing! She said;

“Poisonous liquid? Dangerous electronics? Are you joking? You know what happened. You do! You know! You know I was given a bomb! It was all rigged! Look, I was promised, promised God Damnit, that if I would go on live TV and demonstrate this vaping thing, to show the world how harmful it was, and I believed they were harmful too, how they were far more dangerous than smoking ever was, that my student loans would just disappear and that I would never have to pay taxes again. You know that‘s true! Right before the demonstration I showed the agreement to the cameras, I let Williams see it, read it, right there on LIVE TV! That’s the truth! I was being paid to lie. I admit it!

See, I was supposed to cough my lungs out. I had blood pellets in my mouth, between my teeth. I was supposed to cough like crazy for a couple of minutes, then bite into the pellets and let the blood pour from my mouth. I was supposed to be carted off to the hospital, I was supposed to die there, only not really die. It was all arranged. I was supposed to disappear, be flown to the northern continent, live out my days up there, that’s what was supposed to happen!”

And she didn’t stop there! Oh no! She spoke so fast she freaked the TV studio people so badly they didn’t know what to do, so they just stayed with her. Realizing she was still on the air, she began speaking even faster now.

 “The battery was rigged! Instead of taking the chance that I would someday come back from the north and tell the truth they decided I had to die. So they rigged the thing to blow up in my face! MotherF*****s!  They wanted me dead but I wouldn’t die. That doctor. What’s his name? That DOCTOR? The one that saved my life? Him! Want to know what happened to him? I sure do! The only thing I know was after he made sure I was going to live, he disappeared. But where? Why? Why are try doing this?”

And then the TV went dark.

Just like that.

Later that night it had been “revealed” that the interview was all a hoax. A bad, disgusting, ugly hoax. And the people bought it. The reporter, the camera crew, even the producers at the studio, and the woman herself, they were all charged with the crime of playing a dangerous hoax, and they were all executed for it not 3 days later. Only it wasn’t a hoax. It was the truth. We know that now.

Look, I don’t have all the answers. Not yet. But I will. I’ve decided that I’m going to risk it all to find the answers and then expose them. I’m going to keep all of what you see here, and some you can’t see. Downstairs, there are things downstairs that I intend to keep safe. There is a new world downstairs.

Downstairs there was a false room behind 12 inches of concrete block. A massive room stocked with years of supplies; water, food, even Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Enough for four people; me, Julia, Lisa, and Jason. We’re going in there. Tomorrow. And then, we’re going to disappear. Only this time, it will be us spreading, well, not propaganda, but the truth. We’re going to keep it all alive from inside this room. Freedom, liberty, all of China’s natural beliefs, we’re keeping that alive here.

The corporate monster has ruled this continent for almost 500 years. That fat, balding man in the White House is owned by the corporate monster. We all know this, we know this, but if we say it out loud we get arrested, thrown in jail, water-boarded, stripped naked and made to stand in snow, or water, or rain, or whatever the corporate monsters want. It happens all the time. Tapes are smuggled out of the prisons and passed around. We see them! The “illusion” of freedom is a carefully orchestrated maneuver. The people need to believe they are free, so that they keep spending their hard-earned money so that they can keep the corporate machines alive.

In the beginning electronic cigarettes were a ‘mildly amusing’ project to the corporate machines. It allowed a harmless cottage industry from China to benefit both countries. It was a huge mistake on the monsters part, and when they learned that, when they learned they made a miscalculation, (God, don’t you just love that word? We “Miscalculated”. Just Brilliant!) they moved swiftly and decisively.

Big Tobacco and Big Pharma met with Big Energy and Big Food, sat down with Big Comm and Big Auto, and convinced them that the electronic cigarette industry went from a harmless 300 million a year in sales to 1.5 billion in the continent alone, in a year and the future was now certain; if they didn’t act Big Tobacco and Big Pharma could lose trillions.  They gave China way too much, and China knew it too. It had to be stopped.

And it was. Just like that.

China played its part only too well. The electronic cigarette market grew too fast. The products turned out to be a real threat to Big Tobacco and Big Pharma, who kept citizens smoking and then gave them medication to prolong their lives so that they could continue smoking. China was screwing with the way the world works and that could not stand.

Somehow China evolved differently then the rest of the world. They began to believe early in their history that they had to “teach people to fish” and to “never give someone a fish when they can fish for themselves”… To the United Northern Continent this was too radical. People needed to be cared for. People were also too ignorant to know what was good for them. The greater good was always more important than the individual. The Chinese understood that their beliefs of self sufficiency were worth dying for; the corporations believed those same words were worth killing for.

I don’t know what’s true anymore. Maybe I never did. Maybe I’m doing exactly what the corporate machines want me to do. I don’t know. The only thing I do know is that allowing China to export their cure for tobacco-related diseases was a good thing, even at the cost of Big Pharma and Big Tobacco profits. I guess that means I’m not a patriot. I suppose I’m a treasonous madman now.

All of us we were born into this universe and we are destined to live among the corporate monsters. So I choose this. I choose to take control of my life. To live like the Chinese do, in freedom…alone with but three friends. I know what must be done. I know what I must do.

So I disappear.

Just like that.